Life has been a little peaceful, after the inner chaos the mind was beginning to create. Thanks to ya'll for the love and everything. You can never stray far when you have such wonderful friends, besides the family.

Presentation was done and over with day before yesterday. I can now just read the texts I want to do for exams and concerntrate on them. I hate presentations. I always have. I mean speaking in front of a class has never been a problem. It's just all the additional work to be done the previous night which is a big load since I am such a procrastinator. After class, I met Von for a cuppa and a nice long chat is what we had. Von's one of my closest girlfriends and well what better way to spend a Saturday evening than with a good friend and a nice drink?

My dear Hilbert and I went to see Andy Warhol's works last Sunday (18/11)...I love the Liz Taylor work. I mean when I first saw it in a mag 5 years ago, I was captivated by the sheer beauty of the work..So imagine my excitement seeing it in person. Viewing art with a good friend makes it even more special. Hilbert and I took a long walk which proved extremely refreshing by the end of it. The weather was perfect for a long walk, windy and just right. We even managed to work up an appetite.

Last Sunday was also the 24th anniversary of my maternal granny's death. 24 years.....I can't believe it. Almost a quart of a century. What hurts the most is she never knew her youngest granddaughter...me. I just cry thinking about how many moments we could have spent together. Grans and I would have been inseperatable, fer sure. Loving someone you've never met, has to be the hardest type of love in the world. I love you, grandma!

My heart is beating at an abormally fast pace. I've been put on xanax and told to get off caffeine. I miss a lot of people who aren't here in Sg. Norman Mailer is dead.

I have lost consciousness of time. Hours have elapsed into days. My admiration is turning into an obsession. I can't seem to write anymore. The prose which I started in June is unfinished, turning yellow with the corners turning and probably will remain that way till the end. My poetry is no better. My poetry book has more empty pages then filled ones. I have lost inspiration. I seek refuge under my covers. I feel so safe and comforted in a familiar surrounding. I wanna attach a harness to my bed and then attach that harness to myself when I step out. Security. My security. As of recent, I detest visiting people and striking up any conversation. It irks me the way they feign interest in my opinion on anything. The upshot eyebrows, the forced smiles, the quizzical look at my conceptions. Therefore, I let the parents mingle while I sit by myself and observe. Observe their movements. Their expressions. Pick out the weak ones. Seperate the ones who feel superior. It's a little game I play without interference of any sort. Interference. I have felt the brunt of it over the years. I do not need it. Solitude appears to be the forthcoming haven.

You have to be sane to reach a state of insanity.
You have to be insane to be declared sane and well again.