Sang, Interrupted

2010-03-24T18:18:00.001+08:00

Jeff Buckley's version will always win hands down but K.D. Lang's version gets second best in my opinion!

2010-03-21T14:22:00.009+08:00

So, it's a month since I've been here. The move was crazy. I'm still trying to place time between receiving the news, agreeing to it, packing and finally getting here. Initially when I got here, the first week at least, I stayed up nights, wondering if I had made the right choice. But after settling down and getting myself into a comfort zone, I've come to realise that I never really had a choice. It was either this or.....nothing.

The complex I'm living is pretty nice. Room's got everything I need. Got me own bathroom as well (all the reason why I signed on immediately). Got 4 flatmates and I share the kitchen with them but they're a good lot. The pics below are of my room. I didn't wanna take the bathroom. Next time, perhaps, eh? (And yes, I know the table's messy...but then again, why should it be any other way....=D).......

2010-02-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

.......27 years today......

Karen Carpenter will always remain in the hearts of her fans for sharing with them one of music's beautiful gifts : her voice.

Taylor Hic-Hic-Hic

2010-01-13T23:33:00.004+08:00

Me: Mom, do you remember Taylor Hicks?

Mom: Unfortunately yes.

Me:. Wonder if he performs for anyone now.

Mom: They should send him to the moon and let him sing to the rocks there!

Mom, u're hilarious.

2010-01-13T16:27:00.002+08:00

Sloshed on a weekday night with absolutely nothing to wake up for the following morning. That's what good days are made of.

2010-01-11T05:31:00.003+08:00

Something is troubling me as I type this but let's not get into that.

My room's in a mess. Really. Mom's not gonna be able to help me from next week onwards and the crap just keeps piling. Sydney stuff one corner. Useless books in another. Oh God, give me strength to clear the mess.

My boss gave me mohdoh for Christmas, to sleep better. Awww, thoughtful. No I haven't played with it yet.

Am I the only one who's upset that cable has not secured the rights to screen FIFA?.....Ummm, hello, I need to watch Germany kick the asses of the teams.

Either I'm stressed or gravity is acting on my hair way too much. Each brush stroke, several strands.

Wow, Elvis would have been 75 last Friday. What might he have looked like?

Golden Globes with CHER! And I don't care if I'm only gonna see her for 90 secs.

Is it me or are ppl changing?

Ok this is not good, it's 5.44am and I'm still yet to schedule articles. Sigh, this is why I knew I shld have never gotten a job that requires me to be online. The many, many distractions that linger......

Have a good week!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-01-02T00:49:00.006+08:00

(pic courtesy of partycity.com)

Happy New Year, folks!

A new decade, a new beginning.

To the following people, thanks for following this blog.

Chippy - Happy New Year, Girl! Congrats on the new addition that will be arriving and making 2010 extremely special for you.

Deepti - Deeps, deeps, deeps. With each passing year, our friendship gets stronger. Hope 2010 is wonderful for you. Happy New Year!

Lalitha - Hey gal! Happy New Year. I love how close we've become. I hope 2010 brings you good health, love and lots of fun!

Dan Dan - Truest and loveliest. Really. Happy New Year! =D

Nick - Nickster! Thanks for the call. You're like the energizer batt. You never give up and that's what makes u special. I hope 2010 is as special as you are!

Yvonne - Ah, glorious beginning come Jan 4th. Wishing you well and knowing you'll succeed and turn 2010 into an unforgettable year!

Ae'sha - Sweets, happy new year. I hope 2010 is special and lovely for you.

Mr. Hilbert - Ah, u wonderful boy. Happy New Year. Thank you for always being there.

Greg - Where are you, little monkey? Happy New Year.

Take Care, all!

2009-12-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

Just when everything starts looking clear, the view gets static and becomes a big giant blur. I don't know where all this is headed. And frankly, I don't give a fuck anymore. I really don't. Turbulence, eh?

Anyway, 2010 is just around the corner. I'll be beginning the yr with a blog post filled with personalised messages to you guys (or at least to the ppl I know who read my blog. If your name isn't on the list, then I've no idea u're reading my blog and thanks for following....I guess....Or maybe u're a stalker....If u are....well again, thanks. hehehehe)

I will not get drunk on New Year's Eve.
I will not get drunk on New Year's Eve.
I will not get drunk on New Year's Eve.

2009-12-27T03:27:00.000+08:00

This feels like the end in so many ways....

2009-12-25T02:33:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

2009-12-22T23:42:00.003+08:00

You don't die of natural causes at 32. You just don't.

RIP, Brittany Murphy.

2009-12-14T14:25:00.002+08:00

Everyone has a breaking point. It's just a matter of when you reach that point. I've had enough of the shit that seems to be constantly surrounding me. I'm glad for the vacation in 18 hrs time. But it also means I have to have my head screwed on tightly when I return.

Keith Urban is performing near my hotel on Wed nite. Hopefully I'll have enough time to get a cpl of tickets for the show. Omg, Keith Urban..now tat would be a bloody perfect holiday! =D

So many ppl are coming back for Christmas. Beautiful. I can't wait to get drunk and partehh with each one of them. (And a couple of others whom I hope to magically bump into =D).

Avatar has to open in the one week that I'm not here.....Sigh.....

Oh btw, I still haven't packed. Eeeek! Shall get on it now. Have a nice week, u lot. See u when I get back. =)

2009-12-08T02:27:00.000+08:00

2009-11-11T02:00:00.003+08:00

The gang turned 40 yesterday! Here's to a long time more!

I love u, Snuffy

2009-11-09T19:14:00.002+08:00

Overly drunk and highly incompetent. That was my weekend. And I loved it.

Eyesight and memory are decreasing at an alarming rate. Pretty soon I won't be able to see u and even if I did, I won't even know who u are!

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri is one of the most interesting books I've read this year. Too good to put down. Too hard to let go. (Gogol!....heh heh)

Watched This Is It twice in a space of three days. An absolute proof that MJ was a master at what he did.

My Sister's Keeper was a bit of a disappointment. It wasn't really a tearjerker (but then again, I've been known to have a heart of stone).

Well enjoy yer week!

I'm not so sure I know who u are anymore.

2009-11-02T02:26:00.003+08:00

It's Novemberrr!!

Got a letter to pick up my cert. Like finally! Tomoro or rather later will be watching This Is It. Can't wait! Job's in but I'm not sure if I am. Was invited to 2 parties for Halloween but thanks to the rain and the crazy headache and a lack of effort to get a costume, I decided to have a quiet night of Coffee 'N Conversation. A little perked up coz I believe *someone* is coming home for Christmas! Aunts banned me from 'Sunday Wine' coz of the headaches so naturally, I whined! (I had an itty bitty sip and the head crashed).

Oh and I never knew Anthony Quinn guest starred in The Cosby Show.

Also, Happy Birthday to Lali and Chips. Have a good one, ladies!

2009-10-14T22:23:00.004+08:00

Pigged out on Hard Rock's nachos yesterday, ate so much till I had cheese coming out of my ears and jalapenos coming out of my nose! And giving the system a break, I eased up on alcohol and ordered a normal soda (first time ever doing that in H.R).

Cinemas need to get it into their rather thick skulls that no matter how loud u blast the movie, it doesn't make climax scenes scarier. It just makes it annoying. Sorority Row was alright but the ending coulda been adjusted. Oh and Funny People? Judd Apatow at his worst. But I still love Seth Rogen (and his laff)!

Mom and I did our bit for charity today with a donation to BIAB. But the heat made it impossible to walk arnd after our contribution.

Need sleep. Need something to do.

2009-10-05T11:01:00.008+08:00

2 weeks on the road. I've never had a road trip that lasted so long. But I'm not complaining (as of now). We drove from New York to New Jersey to Philly then to Washington, followed by Atlantic City and then off to Canada and finally hitting Boston and landing in NYC. I love Boston. No qualms about that. It's crazy chilly in Boston (colder than NYC) but I enjoyed every minute of it. Perhaps it was the universities surrounding or the happy, comfortable atmosphere or just the notion that safety is something you can forget abt for a while (unlike D.C). NYC was alright but time wasn't on my side to catch a broadway show. Woulda been lovely to catch The Lion King or Wicked (!!!). Oh well.

Interesting Stuff:

- Got an NYC haircut (and lovin' it)
- Got hit on 3 times (I'm prettier o'er there apparently)
- Tried my luck with scratch cards and was 10 cents short of winning $100.
- Got wet on the first day in NYC
- Empire State Blding was walking distance from the hotel.
- Almost got lost in Macy's (what's new)
- Rested under a maple tree till it started to drizzle
- Saw a drunk pug get into a scuffle with another dog (omg, too cute for words)
- Took the subway to Central Park (figured out the route myself - proud moment =D)
- Started to keep an eye out for Trump (hell, there might be a place for a 4th wife!)
- Had my id checked each time i ordered a drink.

I can't think right now but I'm sure there were more moments as such. Next target will prolly be Western Canada. Oh but I'm really gunning to see Cher in Vegas. Well let's see how things turn out in the next few months. =)

2009-09-14T02:09:00.005+08:00

I have about 60 hours before I board. I still haven't packed. The adults are driving me up the wall with their insistent worrying of me not packing. Sigh, young adults don't pack. We throw stuff in last minute and take it easy. Okie maybe it's just me. But hey, I do that all the time and I see no problem. How cool would it be to bring an empty suitcase and just fill it up with fall fashion trends? Ah, the rich live well.

A thousand things to do in the next two days. One good thing about traveling with adults (I never feel like one) - your documents are taken care of...insurance, visa, passport. Ah, the young live well. =D

So, I'll be cutting myself off from the net(and perhaps even my hp) during this whole thing. It only feels like a good holiday if it's one without the daily occurrences of your life.

Check back with ya'll arnd mid Oct. Oh, and dun forget to wear your pink ribbon pin from the 1st of Oct if you're a supporter of Breast Cancer Awareness.

2009-09-13T01:40:00.001+08:00

Now that's talent!

2009-09-04T07:40:00.003+08:00

I'm sleeping days. Again.

And I'm feeling a tremendous amount of suffocation. (Not literally, of coz.)

Dum-dee-dee-dum-doody-doo-da-dah.

I hate this blog. I dun even know why I have it. Does anybody really read this shit? It's ridiculous. Why do I have it?

2009-09-01T08:05:00.000+08:00

It takes a breakdown of a system to throw life into perspective. People are turning out to be different from what I'd thought them to be. Some for the better, some for the worse. It's taken me so long to realise that I can be really serious if need be. I suppose I use humour to escape. If finding yourself means figuring out you've been living a lie so far, then fuck the past and bring on the truth. The mold has hardened. About time, I say. But, I'm still pretty clueless about lots and death still scares me. Some things don't change. But, here's to a September that I'm sure will be interesting.

~~I dunno why I even bother searching. Prolly coz I miss u that much.~~

2009-08-25T02:53:00.007+08:00

Even though the flu's wrecking havoc on me, I just had to blog about this (before the meds set in and I lose consciousness)......

Miss Kosovo in the Miss Universe 2009 pageant looked so much like Audrey Hepburn! I almost flipped when she strutted in her evening wear ensemble....Seriously, I thought the meds were making me see things but, OMG, the resemblance is uncanny!

Miss Kosovo - Gona Dragusha

Audrey Hepburn

2009-08-23T03:26:00.007+08:00

Sadness. .

2009-08-14T20:45:00.002+08:00

I think most things I thought I was into, just aren't worth the time anymore.

Fell off to sleep really early yesterday. That's the reason everything in me is winding down. Lack of sleep.

Having some sort of a virus. Unable to sit up long. Ugh.

Trying to steer myself away from decision making. Just don't feel up to it, yet.

I'm losing my humour. I just can't seem to see the funny side of things anymore. It's quite sad really.

Anyone else realise how messed up life can be when you leave the reins lying around?

2009-08-06T03:04:00.002+08:00

2009-07-31T19:47:00.003+08:00

One Day In Your Life
Michael Jackson

One day in your life
You'll remember a place
Someone touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around, you'll . . .

One day in your life
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you're always waiting
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there

You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you're always lonely
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there

2009-07-29T20:16:00.003+08:00

I’m ill.

Alcohol kills germs doesn’t it? =D

2009-07-25T16:17:00.000+08:00

I have so many WHYs. Nothing makes sense anymore. It's like walking in a fucking circle and ending up where u started. I really should stop taking Xanax. I wake up feeling more anxious than when I go to bed......Sometimes I feel like dropping everything and running....George Orwell wrote in Nineteen Eighty-Four, ' Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one'. Perhaps, indeed. Or perhaps I really am mad. Oh, why.....

I loved Sunshine Cleaning. I really did.....Well actually throw Emily Blunt in any film and I'll watch it. (Think: Irresistible and Summer of Love) Haha.

So closure's not happening, perhaps distancing might help. Breaking away to feel more alive is never wrong.

This day, last month, t.v stations, the web and, well, the world, were abuzz with the the sudden tragic news. Today, we just walk around, not caring nor remembering. Life goes on and on and on.

Anyway, don't let your Saturday droop! I'm off for an interesting evening! Have a good weekend.

2009-07-10T01:38:00.002+08:00

A memorial fit for a legend. It truly sank in when the casket was wheeled in. And if anything else, I think it was just fitting for Paris to speak. Nothing rehearsed, nothing planned. Just goes to show, sometimes you don't need big time celebs or influential people to exactly what sort of a person you are.. Just a a line from the heart of the person who loves you the most will sum up the truth beautifully. Perfect closure for a person who has been put in such controversial light by the media.

Personally for me, what made me feel the most was not just Paris' speech. But if you watch the clip again, notice little Blanket huddled between the rest and as Janet shuffles Paris off the stage with the rest, you can just see little Blanket cracking under everything and already in tears....Too precious....Too sad.

2009-07-02T04:04:00.008+08:00

Almost a week and the hype is still pretty much alive. Michael Jackson. The internet has never reported on him so extensively till now. It makes me wonder where everybody was when he was slammed with the molestation charges (in which he was acquitted...let's not forget).

Did I cry? No and I still can't. I'm still in shock.

When I heard about Farrah Fawcett's death, I wept. And that's saying a lot because I've never wept over a celebrity before (not even for Paul Newman). My mom introduced me to Charlie's Angels when I was around 11 or 12. It wasn't the storyline that she wanted me to see but the idea that if women could kick ass way back in the 70s, why should the 90s produce weak females? After a couple of years, Charlie's Angels was shown again on cable and it was either on AXN or Starworld in the afternoons (12 to 1, if I remember correctly) when I was in school and I'd keep coins just to call my mom and make sure she was watching even though we'd already seen Season 1 many times by then.

Farrah was more than just a star for me. She was the common ground that brought about many conversations between my mother and me. About her hair, her smile, her sense of humour, there just wasn't a thing about Farrah that didn't captivate me and have my mother laughing at me for being that way (even though Mom thought she was beautifully awesome as well). She's even brought us closer with the crushing reality that cancer not only strikes but breaks a person down and shatters the elegance of death.

I think the media has been a traitor to her by not even bothering to show more than 2 minutes of the funeral. Just glimpses from the news stations. I'm sure she deserves more than that.

I had the opportunity of watching Michael live in concert in 1996 when he was here on his History tour. I still remember it like it was last night. The lights, the sound and the fact that I was breathing the air that he was breathing....Spellbindingly fantastic because true to the entertainer that he is, or rather was, he never gave less than 110%. I didn't say a word throughout the concert because I was captivated. I remember my aunt, sitting beside me and excitedly clutching my hand. I squeezed her hand and held the programme book tightly in my other hand. I don't remember if there was a mosh pit but if I'd known that, that very performance would be my only chance to see him, I'd have somehow made my way to the front (even if I had to push and bite ppl to get there!).

When Michael died, a part of my past died. I grew up listening and dancing to him and even trying to get some sort of a groove thing going, through the beat. I remember being 10 and begging my mom for an identical fedora like his. I had the shoes, the socks and the white tee by then. At 13, as the kids moved on to contemporary artists, I stayed true to him. I remember even telling my friends that I will be his third wife. I laugh when I think about it now but I know I was dead serious then.

In the last week, these two events have left me with questions. If death steals life in a minute (Michael) or drags it and tortures it slowly with pain (Farrah), why is humanity still so caught up in the past and events that may be socially unacceptable? Who are we to judge the next person? I think it's time to wake up and start living in the present and keep the future as a dream. No point worrying about a time that you may not even be part of!

2009-07-01T05:31:00.003+08:00

2009-06-26T19:06:00.003+08:00

Speechless and devastated.

1958 - 2009

2009-06-26T01:31:00.001+08:00

1947 - 2009

Goodbye angel.

2009-06-22T19:31:00.003+08:00

It has been a while, hasn't it?

Been meeting up with people whom I've missed. It's lovely idling away and chatting without the fear of work sitting around or deadlines nearing. It's also frightening not having these around.

I've been back for a week but I still feel lost. It was good while it lasted.

Not liking the news I heard on Thurs. But it sorta pushes me into making a decision about my own life, which in a way is enlightening.

Too many brilliant ideas for the paper but none with endings. It's like inspiration is hanging in mid air! We'll see if anything hatches this week.

I miss so many people who are not here.

2009-06-02T01:53:00.002+08:00

Mom bought me a hula hoop. It's glittery purple. 2 weeks ago it was soapy bubbles. Now, a hula hoop.

2009-05-25T02:38:00.002+08:00

Alcohol, insanity, headaches, confusion, depression, mind games, silence, knives, blood, soup, pasta, t.v, old songs, guitar strings, dark plays, music, false audience, shadows, stalking, cash, internet, library, books, chiro, cinema, arcade, Coke, texts, mail, newspapers, comics.

It's fucked up.
It's my life.

2009-05-22T05:36:00.002+08:00

Devastating American Idol results? You got that right. Just when you thought they'd finally get it right. Well this sad loss seals the fate of A.I fer sure. I mean cmon, if u're gonna lose to Lambert than you're prolly some mega music shiz or something (A.K.A. Steven Tyler and the likes of that). Kris Allen.....KRIS ALLEN.....Are u freaking kidding me?!

Well that was the worst part of the finale (a dark place I never wanna return to)...The good bits....erm....KISS! Hello!!! PAUL STANLEY.....OMG...PAUL STANLEY!!! I mean how hot was that? KISS and ADAM! I thought I was gonna lose it there and then....(Thank gawd for ice water). Second thing I loved: Kara owning bikini girl. Awesome. I mean Kara earned her RESPECT at the rite moment after weeks of tortourous crap she had to sit through.

Ok, enough of A.I. It completely drained my Thursday (specifically when I had to put up with the loss).

Not doing much these days but I've really taken to blowing soapy bubbles. No, seriously. My sister bought me two bottles of the soap bubble liquid (2nd childhood?) and I'm having a ball with them.

~~How do you tell someone who's trying to set you up that you'd rather be with him?~~

2009-05-18T03:01:00.000+08:00

With her guitar slung over, she walked with not a thought in mind, not a place to go. Aimless. Cashless. What nurtures eventually destroys doesn't it? Sucking on a blade of grass, she unhooked the strap of her guitar and swung it over the branch. She bid farewell to nature which had served her well as a teacher, parent, friend and lover. She slipped on the noose and tightened it. To see it all before you and to know you'll never see it again...She looked towards the place of her Creator. 'See you soon, now' she thought. With a tear in her eye, a smile on her lips, she watched as the world danced into darkness before her.

2009-05-16T22:58:00.002+08:00

Happy 25th Birthday, Yvonne! Hope u had fun. I did! Next time, let's go drunk bowling!

2009-05-13T20:19:00.001+08:00

Mother's Day was freaking awesome this year. We went over to my aunt's place. Had me three maternal aunts and mom all poofy and excited. Hahaha. We gorged ourselves with food and questionable drinks. As a result, while trying to read a book for the exam, I snoozed off on the carpet but when you're the youngest, everybody loves u and it never looks awkward. After waking up, we had mini cupcakes bought by yours truly and a lovely Mother's Day cake which was divine. My sister and I gave my mom, whom we named, 'Original Mummy' her presents and then passed out presents to the aunts. They kept ooo-ing and ahhh-ing and checking out what the other got. As a bonus, I got everyone Scratch It cards. Out of ten cards, one got 5 bucks and the other, 2 bucks. My sister and my aunt won.

Then came a round of Scrabble ( I tried to read again while the aunts and my sis played and mom was the score-keeper). After which, my sister and I played Hide 'N Seek, while the aunts and mom had their round of chit-chat. My sister, as usual, cheated on the counting and always seemed to seek me faster than I could hide. At one point, I was behind the curtain, with my huge belly bouncing up and down coz I just couldn't stop laughing. Anyway, after a while she wrapped the curtain round me and well, it was quite a sight, really. It took her a while and I was so sure she couldn't find me. When asked how she did it, "I saw your black legs sticking out! Hahahah!!" came the reply. Erm, ok, whatever.... Anyway, I lost, she found me more times than I found her. Oh btw, did I mention she's 32 years old and I'm 25? Heh heh.

Anyway it was a lovely Mother's Day and I'm glad we did stuff indoors rather than hustle with the public outside.

2009-05-11T00:43:00.005+08:00

Her sense of humour is always heightened.

She knows how to keep the family in line.

She knows when a lil bit of cheering up will lift even the lowest of spirits.

When she sleeps, the image of an angel dawns.

Her smile will brighten even the darkest of dark.

Her love is a power by itself.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you.

2009-05-08T20:30:00.004+08:00

I'm so happy for Vonnie! Finally the good news we've been waiting for! Whoopee!

Ok I know this sounds disgusting but Adam Lambert turned me on bad this Wed with his version of Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. Did he rock the house or did he rock the house! If you missed it, Google Video it. You'll see what I'm talking about. Now, that is one performer I'll pay to watch! And yes, I dun give an effing shit if he wins or not coz he's already a winner, if you ask me. (But, duh, we know he's gonna sail to the final dun we?)

I'm currently riding the waves of the money woes. Woe is Sang who has not a penny to her name. Ok maybe it's not that bad but it sure feels like it.

I just realised I should have been doing, what I'm doing now, a long time ago. Anyway no time to fret over that.

I'm gonna take a risk with my May15th paper. What's the point of doing lit if u're gonna stick to the rules? BITE ME, SODS!

So they captured the fugitive, big effing deal. Tell me something that I know has not been tempered with.

I am addicted to Scratch It cards. I really am. So far I've won like 4 bucks. Come on now, give me a lil more dough!!

Have a good weekend, children.

2009-05-05T22:41:00.004+08:00

So you've moved on. That's fantastic. Except doesn't it ever make you wonder what could have been, might have been or would have been.......It's insane to say it's forgettable. But it's stupid to pretend as well. Sure strings were pulled, buttons were pressed...who's gonna deny all that? But tell me, isn't there even an ounce of regret dripping here?

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
-Sydney Smith

2009-05-04T05:45:00.002+08:00

Bea Arthur
1922-2009

It's been more than a week and I've been biting hard to keep the sad feelings, of losing an icon, down. My favourite Golden Girl, the stage has become darker with your passing. RIP.

2009-04-30T19:50:00.007+08:00

Thank you for the texts.
Thank you for the calls.
Thank you for the cards.
Thank you for the presents.

Thank you for remembering.

It was a good birthday. =)

2009-04-21T23:10:00.003+08:00

CATS was brilliant. From the stage setting to the dancing to just about everything. We had fantastic seats. My aunt even got 'scratched' by a 'cat'. If you haven't seen Cats, well, scene 1 is about introductions and the cast crawls around the audience as they sing (Only on the ground level, of coz). One 'cat' stood so near us, I could see his sweat dripping. And of coz, Rum Tum Tuger stole the show as always. That is one hot 'cat'. I dun noe if it's the moves or maybe the weather, but that feline turned me on bad! Hahaha. Anyway, if I get a chance, I'd def catch it again. And again. If you haven't watched it, get your tix! They're here till the 3rd of May). Oh and yes, of coz everyone was silently singing 'Memory'.

I've decided I want to be a muppet. That's rite. A muppet. Maybe I can be Kermit's best friend or Miss Piggy's lady in waiting.

Oh, Happy Birthday Queen Liz! I love you.

Yay Disco Week on American Idol. Let's see who fucks up. I say 80%! Hahahah.

Anyway, there doesn't seem to be an ending for anything. I mean when the hell does it stop?! I can't go on chugging red bull and pills. My heart mite explode. Ok it won't explode. But I mean I hope everything that's happening now, ends soon.

2009-04-17T19:44:00.003+08:00

My Gawd, who woulda thought?!

What Kind of Wife Are You?

You are a(n) Stepford Wife. If you look up perfection in the dictionary you are bound to see a picture of yourself there! You are absolutely flawless and make all the other wives look like trash. You are a super woman and get everything done without even a hair getting out of place. You are always in control and keeping appearances are the most important thing. You cook and clean and lavish your man with so much attention that the other husbands are jealous.

2009-04-15T04:22:00.003+08:00

If you watch American Idol, you'd have seen Frankie Avalon make an appearance at last week's results show. I literally screamed when he came out. I mean who woulda thought he'd make an appearance. Now, that's bloody brilliant! Youtube's removed all vids of that due to copyright shiz. But I'm sure it's up there somewhere. Too awesome. I almost cried. I said almost.

Oooo 17 Again. Zac Efron...Eye candy....Mmmm...

On a more serious note, I'm a lil upset by something. The unstability of everything is gonna crash soon. I mean how much more fucked up can it get?!

2009-04-07T16:51:00.002+08:00

I hope Farrah Fawcett gets better. I mean, yeah it's spread to her liver and all, but that's not gonna diminish the hope.

My sister has become a Dumbo-kidnapper! Seriously. My babies are at risk.

I dun remember much of the weekend. ~~I think I passed out at one point.~~

I have an inactive Twitter a/c.

A square person stuck in a round world.

2009-04-02T01:03:00.000+08:00

Bring it on, Vonnie!

HAHAHAH!

2009-03-30T02:25:00.002+08:00

Goodbye March, Hello April...I'm so unprepared for May....:S Okie okie, I'm getting down to serious work and gonna break into a sweat and all....Must stop slacking, procrastinating and all. Goodbye almost-dead social life. I'm locking the doors and windows. It's the final lap and I'm just not seeing the seriousness of it. Disgraceful, I tell ya. So this is it. No more movies, fun, etc until this is over.

Why am I up at 2.30 when I have to work tomoro?! Gawd!

Oh and The Winter's Tale was bloody good! I'm so proud to study lit. I really am. And yes, Ethan Hawke was kinda hot. Although I'm sure if my seat was closer, he'd have looked hotter! But I couldn't help mentally replacing Simon Russell Beale with Alan Rickman. I'm telling you, if Rickman had been in it, I'd have bought front row seats! Mmmm....Alan...=D

2009-03-26T02:20:00.002+08:00

Mom: You can't possibly get lost in the same place twice.

Me: It's possible, Mummy-saurus. It's happened before.

Mom: Where?

Me: City Hall, The East, Central....Just about everywhere.

Mom: Do you know how stupid you are?

Me: I'm not!...Wait a min. If I know, doesn't that make me smart?

Apparently, these days, I dun just get lost. I've graduated from 'lost' to 'lost & stupid'. =S

I'm finally going to see Deeps! Fan-tabulous! Can't wait. =>

I finally got to hold a snake. Weee...Ok it's not as exciting as I thought it would be.

I can't decide whether I should save for Vegas (Casesar's Palace!!) or South Africa (World Cup, 2010)......Hmmm....Cher or Klose? Gawd, I can't decide!

This is an insanely busy week and I hope the weekend gets better. Oh and dun forget to switch off your lights for Earth Hour! Apparently they're even turning it off around the CBD area.

I've finally put up my Engelbert poster. Sigh. So charming. I'm thinking of painting the eyes with neon Glow-In-The-Dark paint. I mean how awesome will that look when I turn off the lights for bed! Sigh....Engel, my angel.

Sweet Slumber!

2009-03-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

Natasha Richardson
1963 - 2009

Rest in Peace

Life is too precious.

2009-03-17T02:56:00.002+08:00

I would drive around the world with you beside me.

But how can I expect you to accept and understand me when I can't accept and understand myself...

It's fucking ridiculous isn't it?

2009-03-12T16:26:00.002+08:00

Dark Lady

The fortune queen of New Orleans,
Was brushing her cat in her black limousine
On the backseat were scratches from
The marks of men her fortune she had won
Couldn't see through the tinted glass,
She said "Home James" and he hit the gas
I followed her to some darkened room,
She took my money, she said "I'll be with you soon"

Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Dark Lady played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me than I knew myself

She dealt two cards, a queen and a three
And mumbled some words that were so strange to me
Then she turned up a two-eyed jack,
My eyes saw red but the card still stayed black
She said the man you love is secretly true
To someone else who is very close to you
My advice is that you leave this place,
Never come back and forget you ever saw my face

Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Dark Lady played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me than I knew myself

So I ran home and crawled in my bed,
I couldn't sleep because of all the things she said
Then I remembered her strange perfume,
And how I smelled it was in my own room!
So I sneaked back and caught her with my man,
Laughing and kissing till they saw the gun in my hand
The next thing I knew they were dead on the floor,
Dark Lady would never turn a card up anymore

Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Dark Lady played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me than I knew myself

2009-03-12T16:20:00.002+08:00

X-ray results are in. Nothing to worry about just a little wrong curve that can be corrected. In the meantime, gonna try to improve diet, sleep and (dammit) exercise, to ensure nothing else screws up.

Need to yell, need to scream, need to go Vegas.

Not liking latest season of A.I. Yawn....

I think I saw someone I've wanted to see for a long time but I'm not sure if that was the person so I stood there awkwardly and looked uninterested while trying to catch a glimpse if it was that person. I still don't know.

Dropped my phone in Marine Parade. Battery fell out, back casing fell off. But everything is good now. Poor Morella. (My phone)

2009-03-05T21:36:00.002+08:00

Ugh, my blog skin crashed sometime between last nite and this afternoon. I'm still lookng arnd fer one. Oh and I can't fit my tagboard but there's a 'comments' function. Ugh must get this sorted soon.

2009-03-04T19:42:00.003+08:00

Has it been really two weeks since my last entry?! Whao. Ok here's the lowdown since then.

Been having headaches in the past week. Insanely painful. Neck muscles all tensed and tight. Finally got arnd to seeing a chiro abt it today. She's really nice but when she touched a sore muscle, I wanted to scream bloody murder. But she was really gentle after that. I actually have placed hope on this coz it looks promising. Apparently, my sleeping position is messed up. Not surprising since I wake up feeling more in pain then when I go to sleep. Doing an x-ray tomoro. Beginning to get to the bottom of things.

I'm currently missing a few ppl. I miss their laughter, their smile, the look of annoyance when I say something really whacked out, the arm hug, the shrug, the look that means so much more than it means to...........I miss u guys.

Working days have changed. Add-ons which I'm not welcoming rite now coz May's the exams and would have really appreciated the extra time but no, I'm not gonna sit on me bottom and whine but use those days to finish everything up so I dun bring home work with me.

And yes, I saw the rainbow on Wednesday. If I wasn't on my way to go somewhere, I'd have gone to the end and searched for the pot of gold....(or if I'm lucky, just pot ....hee hee).

I love Cher....I really do.

2009-02-19T19:28:00.003+08:00

Mom said I'm in one of my moods....I'm feeling really antisocial today. All I've eaten so far is chocolate cake. No breakfast, no lunch.....Ugh....Maybe I am in one of my moods.

Have you noticed how it doesn't get dark as early as it used to? Longer days and shorter nights...Ok how redundant.

I'm broke. I shall cease going out for two weeks. Pitiful...I know. But, I have to do what I have to do. So goodbye lovely moments of enjoyment. Hello scary, dark realm of revision. I only have abt two months left...Ok this feels like last year! I remember how I rush-read my notes in April...at one point, even reading at the taxi stand as I waited for my fren, Vonnie, to meet me for dinner. I promised myself I'd never do that again. I never really change do I?

Sat - I have some convention thingy to attend. No daydreaming in this one.
Sun - Mom's B'day
Mon - Oscars! And then lunchie munchie for Mom
Tues - Work (and happy b'day vonne's mom)
Wed - I know I have something but can't for the life of me remember what. Oh cruel absorber of my memory!

Oh! and oh my gawd oh my gawd! Octo's showing Snow Cake on Saturday! Aghhh Alan Rickman! Yes yes I've watched it before but hell will freeze over before I miss the chance of watching it again! Yeah!

2009-02-15T01:05:00.001+08:00

The Beatles - If I Fell

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

so I hope you see that I
would love to love you
and that she will cry when she learns we are two.

If I fell in love with you

2009-02-14T02:32:00.003+08:00

u guys are really awesome. thank you for the concerned emails, smses and tagboard msgs relating to the previous post. there's really nothing wrong. it's just some keith urban lyrics which i love. didn't mean to scare ya'll. love u =)

happy valentine's day.
i love u. u love me. we dun really need a special day to let each other know, do we? but all the same, if u wanna splurge on roses, chocolates, a fancy dinner and all, who am i to stand in yer way...heh heh.

i'm killing myself with seafood and alcohol.....but i'm not sorry. haahaha

i read abt a kid in england becoming a dad at 13. i feel ancient and dead.

can someone pls tell me why tv has become so un-bloody-watchable?! i mean i've flipped channels (in both meanings of that word) so many times that my fingers have blisters.

why am i still blogging when i have work staring at me.....and it's already 2.40 in the morn....oh screw it...let's booze up and dance, now that the weekend is here!

2009-02-07T04:00:00.002+08:00

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin'
your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I couldn't have said it better.

2009-01-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

This is just so pathetic! What a way for a poor old man to die!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090126/ap_on_re_us/frozen_indoors

2009-01-18T17:19:00.002+08:00

We seek, therefore, we receive.

Everything is beginning to spiral downwards but I'm gonna

keep the spirits high.

I know no gloom that I admit not. I refuse to.

2009-01-15T17:21:00.003+08:00

Yay American Idol is back. What can I say, my annual dose of

Simon Cowell is just something I need to end the gloom. And

besides, two female judges?! Hello catfights.

I've been napping and sleeping A LOT! I've no clue what's up

but hey, more sleep means happy sang.

Do you watch MTV's Exiled? Seriously, I think this show calls

for an award. I can think of 5 ppl who will benefit from this

programme.

Omg, I seriously LOVE Freaks and Geeks! How could they end

the show?! More....I want more....As impossible as it is....I want

more!

2009-01-09T23:43:00.002+08:00

My fever is wrecking havoc and depressing me. As much as I want to joke about this, I can't coz it's actually true. My doctor actually certified it and said it's depressing me. WTF? Ugh, I feel so effing down.

Anyway, Golden Globes are here and I couldn't care less. Big Whoop.

I feel like Grumpy Smurf.

I should really write another day. I'm getting you down already, aren't I?

2009-01-04T21:27:00.011+08:00

As my finger wandered around the buttons on

the remote on New Year's day, I sat wondering

how different 2009 is going to be from 2008.

Then I realised, how can it be different if i

don't make it?

2008 was an interesting year for me.

It was a year of getting off my ass and getting

a job and working towards making a name for

myself in the writing world.

It was a year of meeting new people and having

fun. Socialising was key.

It was a year in which I finally went to Bali,

after countless second-hand experiences.

It was a year when I realised that even the

closest friend can sometimes turn the other

way.

It was a year I finally got my decade of a dream -

my guitar.

It was a year that I faithfully watched

every episode of American Idol.

It was a year where I spent my first New Year's

Eve away from the usual.

It was a year when I fell in love with an old

movie star.

It was a year when I saw the first wedding of

friends.

It was a year that I truly dreaded and enjoyed.

A good year with occasional bad turns.

What is 2009 going to be like? It's only 4 days

into the new year and I'm already stifled with

a fever. But that's not going to get me down.

I have a couple of aims for the year. And well

in a year's time, I'll write and let you know if

they were reached.

Happy New Year and all the best for 2009!

2008-12-26T14:56:00.008+08:00

Christmas is over, I'm stuffed and semi-drunk.

So up next: New Year's Eve! I can't think of how to spend it but I can think of a
dozen ways of how I don't want to spend it.

A little down over Harold Pinter's death. Damn, 3 years after winning the Nobel prize
and the man goes down. The uncertainty of life indeed.

I have a thousand things to do for the new year....No, no, not resolutions. Not now,
not ever.But I do have a few, whatshouldwecallthem...goals....Yes I have a few goals
that I want to set right by January. So that's a little exciting.

Also, December has massively expanded me. Too many outside dinners. I mean I look
like Frosty the Snowman's cousin, for crying out loud!

I can't stop playing with my Etch-A-Sketch. I love it so much. I know it's a 20 yr
old toy but still I love turning the knobs and getting myself a picture. Lovely.

Time to grab a tiny bite and see what I can do for the next 3 hours before I leave
the hot for...yet another outside dinner. =) Happy Boxing Day ya'all!

2008-12-25T01:30:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS YA'LL!!

2008-12-07T12:49:00.003+08:00

As Mom and I were dining last night, I heard something very interesting from the next table. There was a lady and her kid, who was prolly abt 2 or 3 years old.

Lady: Sweetie, look at the rainbow on the card. What colour is the rainbow?

Kid doesn't say anything.

I thought that to be a very interesting question. What colour is a rainbow? Do we say the first colour that we see when we look at the rainbow? Do we say all the colours? Do we mention the often forgotten colours? Something so simple could be something so profound.

2008-12-04T23:00:00.009+08:00

Like We Never Loved At All

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
But I'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just going on with your life

[Chorus:]
How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

You, I hear you're doing fine
Seems like you're doing well
As far as I can tell
Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet
So tell me what your secret is?
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did

[Chorus]
Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
Did you ever miss me
Ever long to kiss me?

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

2008-11-30T19:05:00.002+08:00

I cannot read about the Mumbai attacks and not shed a tear. It's just devastating. And so close to Christmas too. Here is a lesson though. Do not lax up on security just 'cause nothing has happened for a while. I can't think about this anymore. It just tears me apart.

I had a weird dream last nite. I dreamt that my sister died. It was a little tragic. I cried buckets in the dream. I wander if it's significant for anything. It was a little overwhelming :S

2008-11-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

A step into the official world is like a reality slap. It's been about three days. Not much has changed but I guess the real test begins next week, Tues. I'm excited but at the same time exhausted.

Christmas is around the corner!! Ahhh!! The only true holiday which I totally enjoy. I would love to be sipping cocoa, in front of the fireplace with light snow falling outside as the warmth inside embraces me with carols in the background.

I've begin my irregular sleeping habits again. I can't help it. Too much on the plate 'ere. Need the shut-eye as much as possible.

Winona Ryder had a fainting spell after taking one too many Xanax pills on a flight. Ok, that's interestingly scary seeing how two is my favourite number.

2008-11-18T01:26:00.003+08:00

18th Nov 1983, u slipped into the darkness of the inevitable.
25 years have passed.
They say I'm like you in many ways.
I don't know and probably never will.

Can you miss someone you've never met?
It's not impossible.
I love you, Granma.

2008-11-13T14:28:00.004+08:00

I had an interesting morning. The company was invited by a certain joint for the launch of their breakfast. So, my colleague and I went to the invited location (ECP) around 8.55 since it was scheduled for 9. We dragged ourselves out of bed on a rainy and cold morning and went over. Of coz we wouldn't have gone, but the order came from the top so no dodging. Anyway, when we got there, there was nothing at all. We looked around and well, nobody was there. So we checked my email via the hp and there was an email mentioning that it was cancelled due to something. I was like - are you fucking kidding me?!' My coll and I were speechless (from hunger as well). So then we settled for a little toast cafe and had bf/k there. Sigh.

Didn't feel like going back to the office so we totally crashed at Starbucks. And this was the thing. It was just beautiful. Rain outside fogged the windows. It was cold. Christmas songs were playing inside and we had a cuppa each (Ok I didn't have a cuppa, I had an icy drink but still....). It jus felt so Christmas-y that I totally wanted to begin my writing there. But all dreams hve to end so we started out for the office. We took a stroll by the beach to get there which just intensified the feeling of cold, cozy and calm. I mite just use my future lunch hours to stone, think, dream, etc. at ECP. Yeah, it's not like the beaches in other countries, but it's still something better than nothing.

I have a busy Saturday. Media stuff, etc. Yawn.

The wall in front of my table is messing with my 'qi'.

I should really get back to my writing. It's almost 3.

2008-10-29T19:19:00.003+08:00

Exhaustion running high here. Two interviews were scheduled today, pending from 2 weeks ago. I called both places to confirm the timing yesterday. Both gave me the nod. So up I got and went to a travel agency around 11. I asked them as many questions as I could come up with and then ended it in 30 minutes (I laid back on my usual jokes. No point joking with two men who have company promotion in mind). Took a cab & went home to have lunch with Mommy dearest.

Left the house again around 1.30 to travel to Boon Lay (from Thomson!) and this is where my story begins. .....

I travelled all the way from YCK to Jurong East in a state of daze. I've been so tired since the weekend. Thank heavens for music. Reaching Jurong East, I came out the wrong side. (Apparently I can't read). Got onto the platform that heads to Changi Airport. Too embarrassed to cross back thru the middle train, I went all the way down and walked to the end and came up the escalator. Then hopped onto the connecting train to Boon Lay. Looked around the shopping mall for a cab stand. Hopped into one and told the guy to go to Yunnan Cres. Cab fare: 4.70

Opened the gate to the childcare ctr and searched for something that looked like a doorbell. Naught. Searched again. Screaming children inside. Hot sun outside. Took out organiser, handphone and called the princi. Told her sweetly that I was standing outside. In heavily accented English (she's from China) she started saying that she was in hospital for observation for some shit. I politely asked her why didn't she get someone to inform me and she mumbled something like she did. I told her to kindly meet me in town the next time because there is no way I was going to come back there. She mumbled something. I mean you fucking bought the editorial. Be fucking responsible about it!!

Then I hung up, still suspicious becoz the number I called was the centre's number and she said she was in the hospital. I was too tired to care. As I threw my organiser back into my bag, I swore loudly, scaring away a foreign worker who looked at me, heard me and crossed the road to avoid me. Whatever. Took a shit-long walk under the blazing sun (no pun intended) to the bus stop coz there was no way in hell I was gonna spend another dime on cab fare. Got into a bus that was headed to the interchange. Then, went into the shopping ctr and got a gift for someone and had a very miserable and lonely teatime. Then begin my terribley long journey back home. I left the house at 1.30 and reached home at 5.30. 4 hours of absolute waste.

Welcome to my life.

Why would you piss off a writer who has come to observe and write abt ur ctr? Wrong move. I could play dirty with this ctr and write a totally bad review. I could.

2008-10-26T04:07:00.001+08:00

2008-10-23T23:58:00.006+08:00

My spoken English is going to the dogs. I sound like a bimbotic teenager who smokes weed to pass time. Too many 'dudes', 'man' and 'oh my gawds'. I have to cut these out. Even I'm disgusted. I'm supposed to be a writer. Supposed to be, I said. And for a supposedly staying writer, how can I conduct interviews with such disgusting language mannerisms?! I'm repelled by myself.

Aghhh weekend's almost here! Whoopee!

My pool of friends is decreasing. Tragic. Where are ya'll?!

I have this bucket-load of reviews to write but I'm just idling away. Reviews make me feel dull and empty. Me no like.

It's interesting how there are rednecks for Obama. I mean with Palin and McCain around, I (as usual) assumed the rednecks would go for the Reps.

I can't make up my mind if my favourite band for this year is OneRepublic or Travis. Hmmmm.

Ok I've stoned too much in the past 48 hrs. Time to hit those reviews. As in literally with a friggin' bat. I have gone up the stairs of so many childcare centres that if I ever have a child (I said IF), I'm bloody home schooling him!

Have a good Friday and Happy Deepavali.

2008-10-08T02:24:00.004+08:00

I've lost my identity. I no longer know who I am, what I am doing, what I want to do, where I am going. Who am I? Why have I become the person I have become?

Vonnie. Vonnie. Vonnie. U have become my rock. Love ya.

My mornings are interesting. Well at times. =)

My knees are creaking. Dun say lack of exercise. I've always told you I'm spiritually old. Now my spiritual age is spreading to my body, that's all.

Everything's bottled and bubbling inside. I. Don't. Like. That.

A taxi man passed me his number and told me to call him for dinner. He's like 102. Should I be flattered or embarrassed?

I hate the coming weekend. Robbed.

Oh Oct 9th!! Winner for the Nobel Prize for Lit will be announced! YAY! Sigh, dreams.

John Mayer's Gravity is stuck in my head. Gawd......

My Wisdom Teeth are out. I dun feel all that smart. I mean look at that. I'm stupid enuff to capitalise the W and the T.

I'm so lazy to keep a diary. I should buy a voice recorder.

2008-10-01T02:09:00.006+08:00

Oooo it's Oct. Where's my pink ribbon? Yup time to show some support! Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Now, unlike last year, I'm not gonna do a whole blog entry on the importance of getting yourself screened if you're a woman above 25 years of age 'cause frankly, I'm kinda tired of repeating it every year. My pin will stay on till the last day of the month as always. =)

I need to stop eating chicken rice! My gawd, everyday for lunch is just not right. Must start adventuring with other dishes....But then familiarity breeds happiness. So...................

Something's just not right these days. I'm in pain as I write this. Who's the God of healing? We need to have a chat.

Private Practice begins today in America. Yay. Ok, I know it's kinda dull but hey, it's still K.W so yay.

I dun really like politics but I love the whole campaigning going on in the States. I mean especially since whatever the outcome is, I won't be affected since I dun live that. Selfish? As always.

I miss hanging out with people. And if you're one of those ppl reading this, then I'm sorry and I miss you. Very much. I'll make it up to you all. Really.

My mother and I had a rather interesting conversation yesterday over lunch. I asked her what would become of me when I'm old, alone and possibly diagnosed with dementia. She told me to check into a nursing home and I asked her with what would I pay and she replied or rather begin to lecture me about the importance of saving. Hmmm.... So lemmie get this right. When you're young you never have enuff money coz well you're a kid, you're a student. When you work, you have bills, commitments and savings to do. When you're old, you economise and live on the savings. So you never really enjoy the cash you make. Interesting.

I'm hating everything rite now. Everything. Me. People. Things. Work. I dunno, maybe it's the meds. Maybe it's just me. But I need to get the bloody Golden ticket. I really do. The pie is never really gonna drop, is it?

I've heard of ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, ex-husband, ex-best friend, ex-boyfriend...but wat the fuck is ex-pregnant?! I mean I get it- formerly pregnant but it conjures up this super stupefied image.

Why is this post so long? I'll end here becoz I've nothing else to say and also coz the pain's killing.

2008-09-28T03:10:00.003+08:00

Rest in peace, Blue Eyes.

2008-09-26T12:22:00.003+08:00

What did I read today?

I read how to neuter pigs (don't ask).

What pissed me off today?

The fucking jam from Newton to Scotts at 8am that caught me for 45 minutes!

What made me happy today?

The constant thought of Saturday (hello forgotten episodes).

What amazed me today?

That fainting, blackouts, etc. can still happen regardless of how much or little I have for breakfast.

And it's only 12.30 in the afternoon so far.

2008-09-25T19:19:00.002+08:00

With a fist I hit upon the rosewood, I declare Dorothy Parker as my favourite poet. Wit has never been displayed this well! 7 years I've loved this woman and will continue to. Dorothy Parker, may your soul rest in peace, but I think a tribute is due near soon. =)

2008-09-21T20:16:00.002+08:00

Fluttering between the past and present,
I hear the drums in the distance.
==============================

2008-09-15T20:18:00.001+08:00

I've been wondering. If an anklet that makes your ankle pretty is called such then shouldn't a bracelet be called wristlet or something along that line? Very odd.

I bought a questionable mood ring last week. It doesn't change much but the lady was so nice I had to give her some business.

I'm developing well in resistance. Shod it.

These days it's music that keeps me going. Staring at the clock is no aid in getting anywhere faster. Sleep. Food. Music. The components in my breath of life

2008-08-23T00:09:00.008+08:00

Goodbye Colette

And the bell toiled.

2008-08-22T02:39:00.003+08:00

I hate blogging. It's so fucking tedious. Yet I still do it.

2008-08-19T01:39:00.006+08:00

Reading back, a few of my past entries, has made me realise that nothing much has really changed since 2004. It's pathetic. I read an entry dated Oct 2004, that explained how empty and aimless my life was at that point. Hmmmm, hit the forward button and hey! same shit!! I still have no set direction, I have no idea what to do and well, I'm screwed. I really am fucking screwed.

Bloody flu is shutting down systems on a temp basis. Mom's aching all over. When the chief is down, then the whole system crumbles. I hate the idea of holding base alone.

I think I need to get out of here and get some thoughts in an orderly manner. This spells VACATION. I really really want and need one. Swim the seas and soar thru the air. Ok I'm too lazy fer all that. A giant umbrella, soft sand and a nice glass of Long Island Ice Tea should do the trick.

Tomoro marks the beginning of the end. Hahaha I'm kidding. Not. No, really I am. Or not.

I need more clothes space or less clothes. Considering I wear almost the same crap all the time, the amount of clothes I have is bloody insane.

It's 5 mins to 2am and I need to wake up at 7. If I sleep at 3 am, that's about 4 hours sleep. Power nap at lunch! Hahahha.

Clutter, clutter, clutter. My bag is cluttered. My table has clutter. My room is filled with clutter. Even this very entry is becoming cluttered with crap.

Heels. Meals. Reels. Deals. Brilliant. My life is in ryhme.

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way

-Delilah

2008-08-07T03:03:00.003+08:00

We get older but not necessarily smarter.

Exhaustion is the devil that eats the soul.

Too tired to socialise.

Too tired to get drunk.

Too tired to do just about anything.

Oh and yes, got the results. Cleared all 4. Yay me.

2008-07-24T23:29:00.003+08:00

Tagged by Lali

1) LAST MOVIE U SAW IN A THEATRE?
Wanted

2) WHAT BOOK ARE U READING??
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber

3) FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Pictionary

4) FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
Reader's Digest

5) FAVOURITE SMELLS?
smell of rain, Lancome's Miracle, pages of a new book, petrol, cologne on a guy

6)FAVOURITE SOUNDS?
a baby's laugh, leaves rustling

7) WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
An operation without anaesthetic

8) WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?
"Oh no...5 mins more..."

9) FAVOURITE FASTFOOD PLACE?
Macs

10) FUTURE CHILDS NAME?
Aidan

11) FINISH THIS STATEMENT---'IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D'
go to Amsterdam and weed out. :P

12) DO U DRIVE FAST?
I would if there was a highway with no patrolman.

13)DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Not really but Dumbo sleeps at the back.

14)STORMS--COOL OR SCARY?
Scarily cool :-)

15)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1st Family Car: Bluebird

16) FAVOURITE DRINK?
Blue Lagoon

17)FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD...
Learn a new language

18)DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Yeah

19)IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
Purple

20)NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?
Delhi, Bangkok, M'asia

21) FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Soccer (!!)

22)ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Caring

23)WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
Dust bunnies, occasionally

24)WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN??
Nah

25)MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
Night Owl

26)OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Over easy

27) FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX?
Couch, the sand.

28)FAVOURITE PIE?
Rich Chocolate Truffle Pie

29)FAVOURITE ICECREAM FLAVOUR?
Mint

30)OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Vonne, Nigel, Chips

2008-07-05T05:44:00.006+08:00

Is this what it all amounts to? 24 years of life and nothing to show for it, except for a guitar, some casual bangles and a tee that says 'Life is a puzzle'. But given a choice I'd bring these with me to my grave. When does the wait end? Has it already ended without me knowing? A tear against the cruel face of the earth. Mindless wandering and bottomless dreams. It's all that fills that empty void. I'd drop everything for a slight sign that tells me I'm on the right path.

Fire, from within, strangles the passion to live. It kills the joy that was once entangled with childhood. Innocence now is merely a memory. Exist. Strive to exist. Mistakes and regrets. Coffee and cigarettes. Alcohol and anti-depressants.

Words are supposed to aid in communication. Yet words have become the Devil's chosen tool of destruction. My speech is what I would give to re-live my life and perfect the potholes along the road of life I've had so far.

6am and I lie awake, thinking about how my life is ceasing in objectives. A breathing corpse. Apparently.

2008-06-23T02:11:00.006+08:00

I wanna say Euro 08 has messed my life schedule but I can't, seeing how it was messed up even before Euro 08!
Deutschland! Deutschland! Deutschland!

I can't seem to get the song ' I Think We're Alone Now' outta my head.

I wanna run away and join the circus. But that's hard when you've no talent.

I'm at odds over something. I know I'll get over it but I still feel it's something that coulda been avoided. Oh well.

Anybody knows why cinema popcorn tastes like cat puke these days? No I haven't tasted cat puke but if I did, I'm willing to bet it tastes like cinema popcorn.

'Wanted' opens this week. About bloody time! I had to content myself with the trailer all this while. Angelina, James McAvoy.....mmmmm. Good stuff. I hope.

Cyd Charisse passed away this week. Sadness. She'll be missed. I'll always remember her as Maria from 'Meet Me in Las Vegas'.

I really need to stop blogging and get on with my work. Damn you, world wide web!

Life and soccer

2008-06-18T00:19:00.003+08:00

When things are looking up, should I start feeling scared and prepare myself for a potential fall? After all, in the past, every time things went smoothly, something bad always happened. Hmmm. Pessimist? Maybe. But a justified pessimist.

Oh and by the way, Geht Deutschland!! Germany must kick Portugal's ass in the 1/4 finals. I must say, Klose has been rather disappointing this time round. Where're his goals and amazing somersaults that follow right after? Anyway, as much as a Germany fan I am, I'm a little skeptical of the performance that will be on the pitch when Portugal is played. Well, hopefully semi-finals sees Germany. Apparently my lucky red socks don't work anymore. I wore them during the Croatia-Germany match and well Croatia kicked Germany's ass right then and there. So I'm ditching the socks for the Germany-Portugal match. Don't wanna risk it now, do I?

2008-05-27T22:20:00.001+08:00

When free time invades, what can one do but reminise?

My memory took me on a journey to a decade back. Ah, a simpler time.

Life then:

School usually ends around 2. You stay back abt 15 minutes after to chill with friends. Then everyone parts. You wait for the sight of the car to roll into view as you check out the upper secondary people and look at them with respect and anticipation at being one, the following year. If you're lucky, then the parents cancel on you therefore permitting another extra 20 minutes of chat with a chum as you make your way home. Once home, a nice long shower releases the day's tension of class tests, silly squabbles, heartbroken crushes.

You have a nice snack and unpack your bag. You finish up your homework and realise it's already dinner time. Or rather family time. Everybody shuffles to the dining room and have dinner and talk about their day. You say something about a boy in your school and everybody laughs coz you are the youngest and hence experiencing having a crush for the first time. Dinner is done and you saunter into the living room to watch something on tv for a while. Then you shuffle upstairs, pack your bag and see if you can steal your sister's awesome new jacket for the next day's computer lab lesson. You go through your upcoming 'events' in your head. There really aren't a lot. Your only worry is who to work with for your History project.

You wonder if you should call a friend or finish your library book about some silly kid in high school whom everyone teases because he's tall. You decide a 15-minute chat with your best friend sounds more inviting. You both talk and you tell her about the thing someone in class said during 5th period English. You both laugh and realise you were both egging to comment at that time. You both wish each other sweet dreams and you hang up and trot to your room. Before you know it, you're on your bed and off to snoozeville. And soon, waking up again to begin another school day filled with learning, fun and friends.

Ah, the simple simple time of life. From there it was downhill all the way. Now life is just filled with worries....about the near future, if you've chosen the right path in life, if you'll ever see a certain person, will you be the only one left standing as people around you move on to higher, better positions, will you get a job that'll be something you enjoy and pays the bills, if you'll die an alcoholic or be fancy and die in a car crash by 37, if loneliness will be your best friend till death makes a claim on you.........The instability of it all is enough to suffocate and choke.

2008-05-24T17:50:00.006+08:00

I've decided to start my 2nd half of the year a little early with a revamped look of the blog. Credit goes to Yvonne, one of my closest friends. The wonderful girl did the whole page for me. Thanks Vonnie! You're awesome!

2008-05-03T21:41:00.006+08:00

I haven't much to say these days. My supply of 'happy' pills is, well, drying up. I'm not sure if I should get a second batch or just substitute for something else. My exams are in a week's time from Monday. I'm not sure if I can attempt any questions. I'm not sure of a lot of things. I'm not even sure of who I am. I am not sure about what I am going to do from June onwards. I'm not sure what is going on. I'm not sure what is going to happen. But it's starting to look a little like May, 2006. The terrible period when I wanted to dye my hair purple and run all over the country semi-nude, half drunk and overly exhilarated. Then I hit rock bottom, stayed under the covers and listened to Janis Joplin. I dun remember how I snapped out of that but I did. Or at least I think I did.

On a different note. It's terrible to find out something new, something that perhaps you would have been better off not knowing. You lose sleep over it, you lose perspective and you lose momentum of life. Perhaps ignorance is bliss. What is of no importance, should not be prodded. Simple basic rule of life. Why then is it so hard to follow?

Victorians, Drama, Renaissance & Restoration, The Novel. Inter-twining stages, different identities. I'm mangled-tangled in the web weaved by the 4.

I finally got a guitar. Woo Hoo! Good bye piano lessons, hello guitar lessons. Birthday present from an aunt (who either loves me very much or couldn't stand my whining about not having one). However, strict rules by the mother. No touching it till exams are over. In other words, I am being withheld from music because literature is my supposedly top current priority. And to think I've taken pride in allowing myself to believe that I have a place in both worlds.

It's 10 pm and my 'day's doings' lists Dickens, Victorian Analysis, Stoker & Stevenson. I haven't touched a single thing. Did I say it's 10? I meant 3 minutes after 10. As I subconsciously empty my glass of ice water, I realise that it's pointless pretending to be or do anything. Tomoorrow is a new day hence a new list.

With each passing day, the feeling intensifies. Feelings of envy, longing, dread.....How nice human life would be if it was void of feelings. Yes, we'd be merely existing but we'd be existing without sensless worry.

2008-04-10T23:26:00.008+08:00

They just had to...again.
My mom is gonna be so pissed when she reads THIS

2008-04-06T15:59:00.003+08:00

It's tears me to write Charlton Heston has died. He was 84. He revealed in 2002 that he had symptoms consistent with Alzheimer's disease. My mom and I watched him numerous times in Ben-Hur and The 10 Commandments. Hollywood has lost a legend.

2008-03-31T22:28:00.002+08:00

You know, you'd think books that you'd wanna read would pop out at appropriate times but nooooo just when you have a million things to do and exams around the corner, then you find good books on sale like Augusten Burroughs' Running With Scissors and Robert Bloch's Psycho. Ok, my bad, I've read Bloch's Psycho a million times but when it goes for a friggin' 3 dollars, how can i resist owning a copy? Anyway, so here I sit with the lovely books waiting to be read (and re-read in some cases) while I watch the never ending pile of work collect dust on my table. Sigh, fret not my lovely books, I shall conquer you once the exams have ceased.